As darkness in the northern hemisphere begins to give way to light once again, I find myself reflecting on life during my 78th journey around the sun. Here are a few thoughts:
I’m at a point where I’m thinking about the past, savoring the present, and imagining how I want to shape my future.
The Past:
I’ve now lived through parts of eight decades. Life looks different to me now compared to my first decade in the 1950s, when I was always looking up—literally and figuratively. Back then, I held my parents’ hands as they guided me through our neighborhood on Roselawn, between Six and Seven Mile in Detroit. Fast-forward to 2024, and now I find myself holding my youngest grandchild Joni’s hand as she learns to walk, while her older brother Bodie guides me through his car and truck labyrinth. My granddaughters Ada, 10, and Sammy, 8, confidently help me navigate the bustling streets of New York City.
Music has always been a constant in my life. Stevie Wonder, Joni Mitchell and Bob Dylan’s songs, which once defined moments of my youth, continue to resonate with me. Their music is still on repeat, filling my days with comfort and joy. As I recall seeing Stevie Wonder in 1962, Joni Mitchell and Bob Dylan in 1965.
The Present:
Much like in the past, I find myself reading multiple books and articles at once. These days, however, I’ve added Audible and podcasts to my repertoire. I’m currently in three book groups, and this month I highly recommend Orbital by Samantha Harvey, a fascinating story about six astronauts circling Earth over a single day. It’s a thought-provoking read that highlights how Earth is our shared home and reminds us of our interconnectedness.
Another book I’m engrossed in is James by Percival Everett—a retelling of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, narrated from the perspective of Jim, the enslaved man who accompanies Huck. It’s a highly enjoyable and insightful novel that I’d recommend to anyone who loves a fresh literary perspective.
Beyond books, I’ve become a fan of streaming TV series. Currently, I’m watching the final season of My Brilliant Friend, adapted from Elena Ferrante’s four-book series. It follows the lives of two friends growing up in poverty in Naples, Italy. Over the years, I’ve found myself continually asking, “Who really is the brilliant friend?”
December was a thrilling month for Michigan sports fans. Our homegrown athletes and coaches gave us exciting games and brilliant performances. A big thank you to Dan Campbell and Sheila Ford Hamp—hope is alive!
Looking to the Future:
The future has never felt more uncertain. While I can’t predict what lies ahead, I can promise one thing: I won’t be passive in the face of threats to our society. With my children, grandchildren, and mother Earth in jeopardy, I remain committed to doing my part.
Professionally, I still feel fortunate to be doing what I love. I have fascinating coaching clients—some young, some not so young. I continue to co-lead groups for men and for individuals figuring out their next steps in life. I feel deeply grateful that I can still function at what I believe is a high level in my profession.
It’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly 50 years since I earned my degree in psychology from Harvard in 1975. Half a century of practice feels like quite a milestone, and I’m aiming for 60!
I remain passionate about my ongoing endeavor, LeadersConnect, which has become a premier networking and leadership development program in the Ann Arbor area. Thanks to the support of wonderful sponsors, I’m able to continue steering the ship—finding fascinating speakers and creating programs that are both educational and fun.
Of course, the future isn’t entirely within my control. In late December, I spent two days in the hospital with a severe case of Influenza A, which exacerbated a neurological condition I’ve been managing. The lesion on my spine, of unknown origin, primarily affects one leg. While that’s challenging, I consider myself fortunate—it could be much worse. I also recognize that many of my contemporaries are facing health issues—torn ligaments, strokes, hip and knee replacements. Despite decades of trying to stay healthy, life still throws its curveballs.
A Life of Purpose:
Reflecting on my life, I feel a sense of pride. From leading student groups in Ferndale – to teaching in New York City and working with talented African-American students to produce plays – , to earning my degree at Harvard – and starting programs for high-risk children, family therapy and leadership development, it’s been quite a journey.
I’m especially honored by the opportunities I’ve had to contribute on a larger stage—whether it was going to New York City after 9/11 or traveling to Rwanda with Pat to help in the aftermath of the genocide. Perhaps the most humbling moments of my career have been those where I could make a real difference. Through therapy, coaching, and my books, I’ve been privileged to help thousands of individuals and families lead better lives.
Looking ahead, I know my focus will shift even more toward family. From a loving relationship between two people, our family has grown to 11 members, including Pat’s remarkable 102-year-old mother. Our circle of friends has also grown in incredible ways. As an only child, I’m profoundly grateful for the many friends who bring joy, laughter, and support into our lives.
I could go on, but I started writing this a few hours ago, and it’s time to wrap up so I can send this out to all of you.
Wishing you a happy, productive, creative, loving, and healthy New Year!