A question that perplexes us all is, how do we deal with a bully? While this is a challenge we have all had to deal with multiple times, today the question is monumental: how do we deal with the bully from Russia?
While Putin remains a shadowy, authoritarian bully, most of us have encountered numerous disturbing bullies much closer to home: whether it’s on the playground, at school, at work or worst of all, at home.
The first bully I encountered lived across the street. Harvey H. was four years older than me. One afternoon when I was 6, we were playing at my house when Harvey grabbed me by the legs and pulled me several times across the carpet, causing severe carpet burns on my back. When I came crying to my father about it, he admonished me:
Robbie, the only way to deal with a bully is to punch him in the nose, ok?
Since Harvey was four years older and considerably bigger, my dad‘s advice was not what I wanted to hear. I decided to just stay away from Harvey as much as I could.
Ten years later, when Harvey was sent to jail for robbery and assault and battery, I reflected that my decision at age 6 might’ve been a good one.
You may notice that this bullying story stayed with me for over 60 years. I think that’s the way it is for most of us. We forget the nice people in our lives who treated us with respect, but we remember the bullies.
Today, we face a bully who is operating on a global scale. We might hypothesize why Putin is pummeling the Ukraine, but to me the simplest and best explanation is that Putin is a narcissistic bully. He loves power, the more of the better. He thinks he can get away with it and no one will dare fight or confront him. He stands alone. Like most bullies, he drives friends away. Those who remain his friends must kowtow to him. If they cross him or if he becomes suspicious of them, they are sent to jail or they lose their lives
What happens when the nice guys stand up to the bully? We are seeing this play out today in the Ukraine. President Zelensky is standing up to the bully. He is inspiring his fellow Ukrainians to stand up to the bully. In contrast to Putin who thinks it is all about himself, Zelensky is a great leader who recognizes it is about his people. He knows that he is risking his life. Yet, he makes a stand.
The question for us now is to be or not to be,
Volodymyr Zelensky told the British Parliament in a video call on Tuesday, speaking in Ukrainian.
Years after Harvey was gone, my dad explained to me why he enlisted in the army at the beginning of World War 2. He told me that he had enlisted because he wanted to fight that ‘bastard bully, Adolf Hitler’. He spent three years serving in Iran on a secret mission to provide fuel to Russia. Ironically, Russia was our ally in World War II.
Many historians believe that Russia defeated Hitler by standing up to him as he invaded their country. The siege of Lenigrad was a turning point of the war. According to Wikipedia,
The siege of Leningrad, also known as the 900-Day Siege though it lasted a grueling 872 days, resulted in the deaths of over one million of the city’s civilians and Red Army defenders.
Guess where Putin is from? St. Petersburg (formally known as Leningrad), his parents fought there and his brother died in the siege of Leningrad. Tragically, Putin did not take away the lesson that the siege of a town was devastating. Rather, he has used Nazi strategy to try to strangle and subject the Ukrainians into total defeat.
Maybe my dad was right 70 years ago. The only way to deal with a bully is to punch him in the nose.
I totally agree with your dad. When our oldest son was 4, we lived next to a family who had a boy a little bit older but a lot bigger than our son. They played together, but the other boy bullied our son quite a bit. Our son was not an aggressive boy, but one day the neighbor boy took it too far and our son punched him hard in the nose. He went running crying to his mother. After that, he never bullied our son again and they became good friend.
Great perspective as always.
Putin represents the dark side of humanity, the opposite of leadership, and what cannot be tolerated.
Although part of me doesn’t want the US involved as war is messy and exacts a heavy toll, if we don’t lead to help stand up to the bully, who will?
WWII was a global threat that inspired everyone to take the call to action. At the peak the US had over 16M people in military roles. You look at George H.W. Bush and JFK coming from privileged backgrounds and Ivy League schools who volunteered for active combat service. Are we willing to do that now?
President Zelensky was offered a way out to leave the country, yet he chose to stay and lead. A true hero, yet he needs help to fight a daunting oppressor.
My maternal grandparents fled the Ukraine during the Russian revolution and had to start all over.
I don’t want to see history repeated.