I Am Addicted to My Smartphone

I Am Addicted to My Smartphone

 

My name is Rob and I am addicted to my smartphone.
How do I know? Let me count the ways.

1. I feel powerless in my ability to free myself from my phone.

2. I check my cell phone numerous times every day. First thing in the morning, last thing at night, and often several times per hour.

3. Every time I go to check my phone, I get a hit of dopamine which makes me feel pleasure. When I can’t check my phone or am separated from my phone, I feel pain. I am caught up in the pleasure pain cycle of addiction.

4. It’s not only opening my phone, but I get a dopamine hit numerous times while I’m on the phone; when I see I have a new email in my primary inbox; when I find a new text message; when I post something in my social media feeds, or I post a new Dr. Rob blog. The frequency of my checking is at its worst when I am constantly looking for “likes”.

5. I realize, when I am so powerless over the cell phone, that they have named it right when they call it a “smart” phone. I feel so helpless in trying to disengage from my phone, that I think they should call it an “outsmart” phone because it is constantly outsmarting me.

6. The smartphone has appropriated my access to some of my favorite things: I now read books on my phone, listen to music on my phone, get my news from numerous news feeds on my phone, watch sports highlights on my phone, I connect with my clients via Zoom on my phone, and get messages from friends and family on my cell phone. Through Amazon I buy much of my stuff on the phone; the stuff I buy is often just that, ‘stuff’ I do not need.

7. I even use the phone to connect with my granddaughters in New York City through FaceTime.

8. As a baseball fan who prefers the radio to TV, I now access Tigers games via the radio on my smartphone.

9. As much as I am addicted to my smartphone, I know many others who have it worse. They play video games. They spend hours on their Twitter feeds. They view porn. They follow the stock market. Now that betting is legal, they spend hours following the statistics of the games that they have bet on. They can even place bets on the smallest details of the game such as how many runs will be scored by both teams. For them, the phone has become Las Vegas in their hands. All these activities are highly addictive. (When I was working with the Michigan football team, many of the players complained about being tired. Talking to them I learned that after practice and studying, they would stay up half the night playing NBA basketball video games against one another. Once they learned how important sleep is, they stopped playing the late night video game and improved their own performance on the football field).

10. So since I admit I have an addiction, I ask myself, “what can I do about it?” As addictions are one of the conditions that I treat in my coaching and therapy practice, I believe that I should be able to apply those principles to my own addictions. Unfortunately, so far I’ve had no success at all.

11. I tell my clients that if they are going to get sober, they have to give up their substance for four weeks. But given the numerous ways I depend on my phone, I haven’t even been able to give it up for four hours, except when I sleep. The thought of giving it up for four weeks boggles my mind.

12. I advise my clients that they have to stay away from places or people that trigger their addiction. Or that they have to set rules that will limit their access to their substance. I suppose I could have some of my friends tie me to a mast, like Odysseus. (Here’s another example of how addicted I am: I just stopped my writing to check the Detroit Lions score. As bad as the Lions have been for the last 40 years, I have committed to never following them again, and here I am checking the score to find that they are down again against Minnesota).

13. I advise my clients to set artificial rules to limit their use of a substance or a process. I’ve tried this too with some success. I try leaving my phone away from my bed so that I don’t grab it as soon as I get up or as I go to sleep. Sometimes, I will leave it in another room all together. I also turn off my phone when I am with a client and when I am out for a social engagement with friends or family. This is hard because I believe I always need to be near my phone in case of an emergency. Another sign of addiction: I get nervous when I’m away from my phone. I rationalize this by saying, “what if my 98-year-old mother in law needs attention?” Or “what if a client needs to get a hold of me?” This is another sign of addiction: bargaining with myself.

14. So to summarize, I recognize I am powerless over my use of the phone. I am ready to turn it over to a higher power than Apple.

15. I recognize that I am rationalizing and bargaining with myself to justify my use of the phone all the time.

16. I realize I have annoyed others by getting distracted and looking at my phone while I am with them.

17. I know I need to apologize for being rude.

18. I know I am not setting a good model for my clients and family members.

19. I know I need help.

PLEASE COMMENT AND PROVIDE SUGGESTIONS (Not dropping it in the toilet or placing it on a railroad track; I’ve already tried those and somehow my iPhone survived and like that old Timex commercial, “it kept ticking.” If you’re old enough to remember that commercial, you probably don’t know how to get the full use out of your iPhone).