Last week I talked to a friend who had an offer to pursue an opportunity which he had always desired. However, at the moment of decision, he found himself hesitating and fearful of making the commitment. Fortunately, before he turned down the option, we had an opportunity to discuss his feelings and decision-making process.
Like many opportunities, this one came along at the wrong time. He was already at the limits of his capacity, both physically and mentally. Yet, this was something he had always wanted to do and normally would have jumped at the opportunity if it had come at a different time. To complicate matters further, he found his confidence wavering at his ability to succeed at the new endeavor.
We talked about the challenge from many perspectives. (The following perspectives might also be useful to you when you next experience self-doubt about something important you would like to achieve):
- We examined what it was he feared, and why he was lacking confidence in this matter, even though he was generally a confident person.
- We talked about worst-case scenarios: If what he feared happened, did he believe he would be able to cope with it? Could he deal with the possibility of failure?
- How would he feel if he passed up the opportunity and it never came around again?
- If he were to take on the challenge, what resources could he call upon to ensure success?
- How had he been able to deal with similar challenges in the past? What inner and external resources had he called upon to enable him to face and overcome his fear?
After thinking through and reflecting upon these questions, and talking to other people who knew him well about the situation, he made the decision to take on the challenge. Will he be successful? Only time will tell. Based upon his track record of success, he will probably find a way to succeed in this activity as he is done with other activities like it in the past. But, as is the case whenever taking on a challenging risk, he may not succeed. However, he’s comforted by the fact that he will be able to cope no matter what the outcome.
If this person resembles me in any way, feel free to draw your own conclusions.
I will report back on this situation over the next several months to let you know how it has worked out. Meanwhile, please share with me examples of times when you have had to face your fears in order to accomplish something worthwhile.