More and more we are all looking for tools to help us deal with the ever-increasing demands on our time and energy. We’re trying to keep four or five balls in the air – and living in fear that if we drop one, all will come tumbling down.
As Americans, we don’t have a good track record on juggling. Traditionally, we’ve focused too much on work, while ignoring the fact that if we drop that ball – if we lose our job or go through major difficulties or disruptions in the workplace – we’ll likely recover in time, even though it may not seem like it at first. We forget that if we drop the ball at home or in other areas of our lives, we may not bounce back so easily.
Neglecting a marriage can lead to divorce and long-lasting heartache. Not paying attention to our kids can send them into a tailspin. If we pull back from friendships or our larger community, we risk triggering depression and loneliness. Disregarding our health – mental or physical – can have dire and irreversible consequences. If we violate our personal values, we risk losing the respect of others, and even ourselves, possibly forever.
The consequences of neglect can become especially difficult when a marriage reaches the point where separation is unavoidable, because ending a relationship also means working through practical responsibilities that can shape both spouses’ lives for years to come. Financial stability is often one of the biggest concerns, particularly when one spouse has earned significantly more or the other has stepped away from work to care for the family.
Questions about spousal support in texas may arise during this stage, with the circumstances of each spouse helping determine whether ongoing financial assistance is appropriate and what obligations may follow. Addressing these matters alongside decisions about property, children, and living arrangements can make the transition less overwhelming and give both people a clearer understanding of what life after marriage may look like.
Despite our propensity to pour more time and energy into work, our culture is changing. People in every generation, from baby boomers to millennials, are seeking the keys to a life of greater meaning. The popularity of books like the “Last Lecture” by the late Jeff Zaslow about Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon University computer science professor who died of pancreatic cancer, is a case in point. Millions of people have been drawn to his story through the book and video of his lecture on YouTube. Why? People are inspired by a life not lived in vain. The desire to leave something behind is deeply ingrained.
But we don’t have to literally change the world to leave a powerful legacy. If you have read any of the “Portraits of Grief” in the New York Times – the short profiles of those who died in the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center – you saw that some of the most vivid memories of the victims were tied to ordinary, everyday experiences. They were no less powerful or meaningful.
E.B. White said it so well: “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
Like White, we get out of bed every day facing a host of choices. There is no one-size-fits-all formula for how we order the day or lead our lives. Each of us must decide what will sustain us, taking into account our energy, values and passions.
I am interested in hearing from you: how you go about the challenge of balancing your life? What do you do every day to try to find a balance between sustaining yourself, doing your job well, and taking care of your family, your community, and the world we inhabit?
Dr. Rob