I read this today on Writer’s Almanac by Garrison Healer:
“It is the birthday of Bel Kaufman (1911). Kaufman taught in the New York public school system for 20 years. She had a terrible time passing the oral exam to get her teaching certificate because of her Russian accent, but she finally did and eventually turned the frustrations of her teaching career into a novel. It was called Up the Down Staircase (1965), and the story was told through a collection of letters, notes, and school memos. In 2010, when she was 99, Hunter College hired her to teach a course on Jewish humor…
She gave an interview to Vogue magazine in 2012, and said:
‘I’ve lived a long time, a very long time, 101 years, and I’m still here. I’m done with the doubts and struggles and insecurities of youth. I’m finished with loss and guilt and regret. I’m very old, and nothing is expected of me. Now, provided good health continues, I can do what I want. I can write my memoirs. I can edit my works for future e-books. I can even do nothing — what a luxury that is! I have new priorities and a new appreciation of time. I enjoy my family more than ever, and also a sunny day and a comfortable bed. I keep up my interest in books and theater and people, and when I’m tired, I rest. … I had many problems and disasters in my life; fortunately at my age, I don’t remember what they were.’ “
Reading this from one of my favorite authors, who inspired me to become a teacher in New York City, I got to wondering, “When is one old enough to be done with doubts, insecurity, loss, guilt, and regret?Do You need to wait to wait till 101, 91.67? Why isn’t any age good enough?” For most of us, it’s always tomorrow when we will be done with the negative self-feelings and self-talk that drown us in our sorrows. Why can’t we just make up our minds today to live our lives the way we want to live. After all, as Clint Eastwood says, “Tomorrow is promised to no one.”
So this week here are a few tips from good old Dr. Rob:
- Think about what it is that you really want to do.
- Challenge all the thoughts of fear, self-doubt, and insecurity that are getting in the way of doing what you want to do. Tell those thoughts, “Be gone with you.”
- Spend some time this week doing absolutely nothing (this may be the hardest challenge for you).
- Be more mindful of and pay attention to your surroundings, to enjoy simple pleasures.
- Stop trying so hard to be “liked”. Remember, being liked by everyone for everything you do is not only exhausting but impossible to achieve.
- Forget past mistakes. Work on sweeping them right out of your mind.