Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence are the Keys to Success

Know Thyself.
-Socrates

Sages throughout history and across cultures have urged us to be self-aware, and thereby understand our world. Modern psychological sciences have consistently reinforced the idea that well-being begins with self-awareness.

One key example of this insight comes from modern psychological research dedicated to emotional intelligence. Beginning with Professor David McClelland, for whom I was a teaching assistant at Harvard University, and continuing through the research of my classmates, Daniel Goleman and Rick Boyatzis, it has been shown that self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. In order to understand other people, we must first understand ourselves.

In order to manage any relationship, we must possess self-awareness and other awareness. In order to manage our emotions, we must first understand ourselves. And to manage the complexity of complicated relationships, such as those we find in family, school, teams or work, we must first understand ourselves in relation to others.

What Are the Emotional Intelligence Competencies?

ei-graph

Emotional Intelligence competencies can be thought of as a grid of four squares. In this grid, the self is on top and your social interactions are below.

On the left are the thinking competencies: know yourself, be aware of others. On the right are action competencies: manage yourself and manage relationships.

Key Questions to Ask Yourself on Emotional Intelligence

Here are some questions to ask yourself about your level of emotional intelligence. Today I will be focusing on the first competency, Self Awareness.

How well do I know myself?
What are my strengths?
What is the chatter in my head?
What is the good chatter?
What is the bad chatter that I wish I could get rid of?
Am I good friends with myself?
Do I seek understanding of myself through reading, video audio, and talking to others?
Do I prepare for the future?
Do I have goals or ambitions?
Do I know what makes me happy?
Do I know what makes me sad?
Do I know what drives me crazy?
Do I know the basics of my personality?
Can I identify things about myself that I want to change?
Can I identify things about myself that I want to keep as is?
Can I identify things about myself that I want to stop doing?
Am I aware of any addictions I may have?
Do I have a mission in life?
Do I know what I fear?
Can I face my fears?
Do I have faith in myself?
Do I believe in a God?
Do I like to explore the unknown?
What do I prefer, nature or city life?
What do I prefer, change in new things or consistency in not much change?
What are my core values?
What are my passions and interests?
What are my blind spots?