100 Ways to Stay Emotionally Awake

From my 1994 book, Awakening From The Deep Sleep

1. Restore balance in your life.
2. Keep track daily of the abundances in your life.
3. On your daily calendar record TGCOY: what you do each day to take good care of yourself (jog, meditate, write in journal, etc.).
4. Develop a spiritual practice.
5. Call at least one friend weekly.
6. Join a men’s group.
7. Read women’s literature to try to better understand the women’s movement.
8. Learn a new sport that you can do even into old age.
9. Plan a trip for your family.
10. Plan a trip with men friends.
11. Get involved in a project to improve life on earth.
12. Set up regular times to do things one-on-one with your children.
13. Set daily goals that have nothing to do with work.
14. Set up regular lunch times with a friend.
15. Take daily walks with your wife.
16. Get a dog.
17. Start a small garden.
18. Have lunch out with each of your children at least once a month.
19. Find a barber you like, and get to know him or her well.
20. Thank God (or someone) for the blessings of each day.
21. Be more positive with everyone.
22. Give yourself a break.
23. Plan some solitude. Go away by yourself at least one weekend a year.
24. Do something you’re afraid of.
25. Make fanciful lists.
26. Read biographies of people you admire (not just great ones).
27. Watch sunrises and sunsets.
28. Learn to cook one great thing for each meal of the day.
29. Buy nice blank cards and send them out routinely.
30. Stretch daily.
31. Give yourself credit for not losing your temper.
32. Identify all your subpersonalities (or parts of self).
33. Memorize a poem.
34. Become an expert on something.
35. Stand up to someone you’re afraid of.
36. Learn to dance.
37. Call people up to congratulate them on their successes.
38. Develop a good relationship with a doctor. Get to know the doctor well enough so you’re not afraid to talk about your health.
39. Get away with your wife for a couple’s weekend.
40. Admit that you are powerless over certain things or people in your life. Appreciate them for teaching you humility.
41. Celebrate the arrival of each new season.
42. Tell the people who help you regularly how much you appreciate them.
43. Learn to live more in the moment.
44. Let your kids beat you in games.
45. Tell your kids you’re sorry when you make a mistake.
46. Talk it out with someone you’ve been upset with.
47. Be loving. Don’t take love for granted.
48. Ditto for health.
49. Do something nice for a neighbor.
50. Reconnect with relatives you haven’t seen in years.
51. Frame some favorite pictures.
52. Write your own words on note cards instead of relying on Hallmark poets.
53. Teach your kids about nature by going out in it.
54. Listen to the stories in country music.
55. Teach yourself to meditate or relax in quietude.
56. Ask people about their family histories.
57. Love yourself just the way you are.
58. Find a mechanic you trust.
59. Count your blessings.
60. Feel the fear—and do whatever it is you’re afraid of.
61. Try eating without reading.
62. Limit TV to the weekends.
63. When you’re happy, enjoy it.
64. Let go of trying to control others.
65. Learn from your arguments.
66. Raise your kids as well as you possibly can.
67. Find women with whom you can be friends without being sexual.
68. How important is it to keep trying to earn more money?
69. Plan a career change.
70. Enjoy daily pleasures.
71. Talk to your mate about sex.
72. Enjoy yourself.
73. You can’t change solely on your own.
74. You can get by with a little help from your friends.
75. Learn to take care of the world we live in.
76. Learn to take care of the body you live in.
77. Find an outlet for your creative spirit.
78. Learn to cry.
79. Be willing to terininate friendships that are a constant drag.
80. Tell people you appreciate them.
81. Realize that the journey is both within and without.
82. Hug someone in front of your kids.
83. Share your pain with someone you trust.
84. Unhitch yourself from the pursuit of money.
85. Learn to leave work stress at the office.
86. Slow down. Try to make the morning last.
87. Ask yourself, how much is enough?
88. Give yourself permission to be imperfect.
89. Learn to let go of outcome.
90. Work for political change that will make the workplace a healthier place for men and women.
91. Help the lost boys (boys without fathers).
92. In a conversation, ask a question and listen to the answer.
93. Initiate, plan, and carry through a social activity with your wife, including calling a babysitter.
94. Stay in the room when your mate starts to cry.
95. It’s OK to say “I don’t know.”
96. Honor the teacher in you that will guide the next generation.
97. Teach your daughter how to use a power drill.
98. Trust your intuition.
99. Show a little tenderness.
100. Be a volunteer.