I am sitting in a café on 34th Ave and 77th St in Jackson Heights, New York. People often think I was born in New York City, but actually, I am from Detroit. My memories of New York City go way back.
My first memory of New York City was watching the Today Show on NBC with Dave Garroway and his co-host, J. Fred Muggs, a chimpanzee. When I was six, I started dreaming about going to New York City.
When I was twelve, I finally got there to attend a wedding. My family took a train from Detroit to New York to stay with my Aunt Augie and Uncle Abe in the Bronx. Augie, my favorite aunt and one of the kindest people of all time. Here are some of the things I remember about that trip:
- Riding on a subway and holding onto a strap so I didn’t fall.
- Hearing the garbage trucks first thing in the morning.
- Eating toasted bagels with chive cream cheese.
- Walking through Rockefeller Center.
- Seeing NBC Studios and Dave Garroway, but the chimp was long gone.
10 years later, in 1968, after graduating from the University of Michigan. I moved to New York to become a teacher in Harlem. It was a tougher place to live than I anticipated. I had little money, and rents were high ($150 per month, which was high for me). There were junkies all over the street, and since there were no litter laws, I had to stay consistently attentive to avoid stepping in dog poop.
My time in New York from 1968 to 1970 turned out to be amazing and was a crucial turning point in my life. Here are a few of the things that I did:
- Teaching African American and Puerto Rican Heritage through the Creative Arts.
- Becoming an actor and joining an all-African American theater troupe that toured all around the East Coast.
- With my good friend, Harvey Silver (who is still my friend), producing and directing a musical play with my students.
- Becoming a member of the Screen Actors Guild and acting as an extra in several movies.
- I also went back to Rockefeller Center to see Shirley Bassey at the top of 22 Rock.
The year is 1990, 20 years after I had left New York. This time, I traveled to New York City to be a guest on The Today Show. I had written a book with some of my colleagues entitled “Men in Therapy— the Challenge of Change.” A Today Show production crew had come to Ann Arbor to film one of my men’s groups. After the filming, they invited me to come with my coauthor to talk about the book. My wife, Pat, and I were put up in a luxury hotel in Rockefeller Center. The interview took place in the very studio where Dave and the chimp first did The Today Show, 40 years earlier. I was being interviewed by Deborah Norville. The segment lasted 10 minutes, granting me my 10 minutes of fame.
As quickly as it had begun, it was over except for one memorable detail. As we were crossing Fifth Avenue to go back to the hotel, who should we see but O.J. Simpson, who at the time was a TV commentator for NBC Sports. (This was a few years before his murder trial.) We quickly recognized O.J., and like we were kids, we ran back to ask him for an autograph. He looked at us as he was signing, and he amazingly recognized us.
“Didn’t I just see you guys on The Today Show? I really liked that men’s stuff you were talking about.”
Not knowing how to respond, I blurted out:
“Gee, if you’re interested, I could send you one of my books.“
I can’t remember now whether I sent it to him or not, but I guess that he never read it. I’d like to think that if he had read it, it might have changed history.
Ten years later, on September 11, 2001, I was called back to New York City. This time I was there to help my client, Phil Lynch, CEO of Reuters of the Americas. Several of their employees were missing after the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. Phil, who is still my good friend, asked me to help him with the company manage the devastation from the attacks. (I will talk in detail about this in the future.)
So now, in 2025, I am back in New York City visiting my son, Adam, and his family. As I sit in the cafe, I realize that even though I was not born here, I am a New Yorker deep in my heart.