Last Friday I was proud to have Dr. Wayne Baker join me for the Leaders Connect Breakfast session.  VIDEO LINK

He informed the group of a new App, Give & Get App It is designed to help people get over the hurdle of asking for and receiving help within organizations.  Dr. Baker has discovered that even though people love to help each other; the hardest thing for people to do is to ask for the help that is needed.  In our discussion, Dr. Baker explored why people do not tend to ask for help until they are desperate.
Among the reasons cited were:

  1. We fear that others will say no and we will feel rejected
  2. For many, to ask for help is a sign of weakness
  3. Many successful people feel like frauds and are afraid that asking for help will reveal how inadequate they really are.

So what can you do if you are one of those people who have difficulty asking for what you need?  Here are a few ideas:

  1. Recognize that people actually like to help and that asking for help really makes other people feel better, not worse.
  2. Recognize that truly successful people are actually good at asking for help. They recognize that no great achievement can be done alone at asking for help will actually make them more productive.
  3. Recognizing that by asking for help, you are actually building team camaraderie and cohesive. You are reinforcing the idea that it takes a strong team to make a difference.
  4. Get in the habit of asking for help on the big things by asking for help first on the little things. For example think about how easy it is to ask Siri for directions, but how hard it is to ask a real person for directions.
  5. Recognize that asking for help make us more human. We like people who dare to show their vulnerability and ask for help on things that are difficult for them. Nobody likes someone who acts like they are totally self-sufficient.

Dr. Baker makes one more suggestion: once you have overcome your inhibitions about making a request, be sure to make SMART requests:


  • Meaningful
  • Actionable
  • Real
  • Time-bound.

Make your request easy to understand, explain the importance of the request, be specific with what help you’re looking for and provide a dead-line.  The deadline allows people to say I’m busy right now, but I can help you in 5 hours or I need to contact someone who I think can help you.

Please share with me your thoughts on giving and getting.  Also contact Dr. Baker about this app I am now forming a Leaders Connect pilot group for the Give & Get App.  If you are interested in joining, then please email
dr rob wayne


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